When Today Becomes Tomorrow

Being awake right now was not the plan.
It’s gone midnight.
I’m wide awake.
The events of the evening
made my thoughts race.
Over stimulation is not good.
Not getting enough sleep
is bad for
bipolar girls…

But going to sleep
all keyed up
is bad for whatever
you call girls
with
“addictions.”

Thinking about the day
and how I could have done things
differently…
if only I was a different
person.

But today has already
become
tomorrow.
The things that I did
or didn’t do;
said
or shouldn’t have
said…

are over and
done with now.
I’m probably going to feel
like a zombie when I wake up
to go to work later
because lack of sleep
is not good for
bipolar girls.

All the events of yesterday?
The stuff that I can’t change?
The things I’d’ve done differently...
if only I was a different person?

I gotta let that stuff go.
It keeps the mind racing
and leads to lack of sleep…
and we ALL know how that turns out.
Best to just
let
sleeping dogs
lie…

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  1. May 4, 2012 at 6:28 am

    When you’re right you’re right ! Hope tonight goes better than last night…Diane

  2. May 4, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    I am hoping to sleep like a dead girl tonight. Today was surreal even for me. I have the Sex addicts meeting tomorrow. Wouldn’t do to be a zombie there.

  3. May 10, 2012 at 1:45 am

    Do u feel bipolar is a part of u? Not that u let it define u, but that it comes with u? It’s hard to explain but I feel more n more wanting to leave behind all those who know about my dirty little secret.. Run away n start fresh.. I thought I could b open n b honest but the more I told of me.. The depressed me.. The bipolar me.. It’s as if everyone wants me to shut up now. N it’s hard.. Cause I feel at times bipolar doesn’t define me but it’s a part of who I am n many times I feel that part of me isn’t accepted. I feel like if I go somewhere new n not tell anyone n hide it like I did before it got out of control my life would be easier.. I just had my full hysterectomy 2 1/2 months ago so I’m dealing with some emotional aftermath n it’s made my bipolar flare n everyone who said “I’ll b there for u” who knows of me n my bipolar is sick of me.. N has basically told me to get away.. N I feel alone.. I am praying n asking god for guidance but… I feel
    Betrayed. By people, my body, my family.. I know I don’t usually write but u are a constant in my life n it feels nice to have a reminder that god is great when I hear all that he has done with u. U r an amazing strong woman.. N funny too! N the faith u have is inspiring.

  4. May 10, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Hi titaamac,

    It’s been a while. I wondered where you’d gone. It was hard to read your comment because I know things have been so hard for you. You know that I don’t profess to have all the answers, but if you want my perspective from my own personal experience I am more than willing to give it. I will separate your questions and try to respond to each one. Because it was likely to become a very long response, I decided to dedicate a post to you. If you would like to discuss any of this in more detail send me an email. I should have the post finished by tomorrow.

    Much aloha,
    Lori

  5. May 31, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Lol It took me 20 min to find when I had written this. I also wanted to refresh myself as to want I had actually written.. Don’t u sometimes write stuff when ure all messed up n emotianal n u forgot half the stiff u said or wrote? I do want to ask u some more stuff but I don’t know how to email you? I keep looking for the email “button” lol

  6. May 31, 2012 at 6:00 am

    There is a way to email me or at least there’s a way for me to email you. I’m strapped for time right now… and won’t really have a free moment until the weekend, but I will try to email you.

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