That’s What Friends Are For…

A few weeks before my surgery I happened to see a book in the bookstore. It was about a guy blogger with Bipolar Disorder. Wanting to see what my competition was like I read a bit of the book and then I googled the author when I got home. Needless to say, we are not competing for the same audience. I’m a Christian and I make no apologies for that. I’m not a bible-thumpin-bang-you-over-the-head type of Christian, but I am very sure of what I belief and it is my belief in God that saturates every post I write. I might not mention God or Jesus in every post, but it’s pretty evident which team I’m play for and like I said before, I make no excuses for that. You don’t have to believe what I believe to read my post, but if you read my blog  you know what you’re in for: a life event wrapped around a spiritual truth.

I didn’t have to read much of this guy’s blog to know that he and I were different. So it doesn’t surprise me that my view of friendship differs from his. And after they day I had, I can’t help but say that I’m glad. Today I spent time with a friend. A real friend. And we spent time doing ordinary stuff that you maybe don’t normally do with friends. Since I had my hysterectomy, I can’t drive. She came and picked me up and took me to the local Farmer’s market so I could stockpile produce to combat that pesky constipation I’ve been so vocally blogging about. We went to Safeway where she pushed the cart since I can’t and also refilled my prescription for pain meds. And to round out the morning, she went through the Jack-in-the-Box drive thru because I was starving. . While that might seem to negate all that healthy food shopping  I did this morning… it made sense in my head. Evidently, having broth for breakfast might work well for the intestines… but it doesn’t do much to really fill you up

My point? Unlike the Bipolar Boy who has had over a million hits on his blog, friendship for me, means more than going out and partying with somebody or cruising the bars or doing drugs. Friendship… real friendship is the person who will be there with you after surgery who  humbly help you do things you cannot do for yourself. I must have said, “Thank you” to her today a hundred times. And real friendship is just that: the people for whom you are really thankful. When we were in the medical clinic refilling my meds, this friend thought to open the bathroom door for me and then stand sentry outside it because she knew from past experience that the heavy door would be too much for me to handle on my own. Friends that won’t let you get trapped in bathrooms? What would we do without them?

I’m not knocking that other bipolar blogger turned author. We are playing for different teams. He lives his life according to a different rule book. Who am I to judge him? I’m just making an observation because friends make a huge difference in the life of somebody with a mental illness. I’m also seeing what a huge difference they make in the life of someone recovering from a hysterectomy. My life would not have half of the color and dimension in it without the friends that God has placed in my life. They don’t all “get” me and what it means to have Bipolar or Asperger’s or what it means to go through a hysterectomy… but it doesn’t always matter if my friends “get” me. It matters that they are my friends. They are my friends and they have all stepped up to the plate to be there for me.

I don’t need the kind of friends who just want to party and keep it surface. Partying never really helped anybody become a better or a whole person. Drinking just seemed to bring out the manic in me. The kind of friends who indulge in all of that kind of stuff are also generally the first ones to disappear when you really need them. I spent years trying to avoid friends of that first type. That ended up forcing me into my Bipolar Bubble. Then, I spent years trying to avoid the second type because I figured that once they knew how screwed up I really was… they wouldn’t want to be my friend anyway. Now, I’m admitting how wrong I was. Since my surgery I have had friends bring me food, do my laundry, come talk to me, take me to McDonald’s, come over to play dominoes, and a long list of other things. These same friends have given me words of encouragement and support, lifted up tons of prayers, and made countless phone calls, texts, and facebook posts letting me know how much I matter to them.

Do I need a friend that’s going to hold my hair so that I don’t puke into after a binge? I had friends like that. They were nice. But I’m not that person anymore. All the stuff that I mentioned above? That’s what friends are for and I only hope that I can turn around and be that kind of friend to somebody else when they need it.