Bipolar, Wonder, and Fasting: Day 17
So we’re on Day 17 of the 21 day fast.
Since I’d been researching fasting for the last few months of 2017, this 21 Day fast that my church did seemed to be confirmation from the Lord that I was on the right track. My original plan was to follow the fasting protocols outlined in Dr. Jason Fung’s book on fasting. The first week DID NOT go according to plan, but it gave me insights on how to approach the second week, which ALSO did not go according to plan. Yet again, it informed how I would approach this final week of the fast.
It also highlighted the fact that God’s plan is ALWAYS going to trump MY plan. But before you think I’m one of those people who bash plans of any kind… be aware, I’m not. “Plans fail for lack of counsel.” We are told that “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord determines his course.” I don’t think scripture actually tells us NOT to plan, though there is much about submitting our plans to God.
There is NOTHING wrong with having or making plans if you have sought the Lord’s guidance and if you hold those plans lightly. Spontaneous people who go through life without plans are not inherently more trusting or more spiritual than people who make plans. “Nobody plans to fail. They just fail to plan.” That’s not in the bible… but I wish it was. Not having plans was what kept Bipolar Girl locked in depression. Not having plans was what kept me living in crisis mode. It was only when God gave me a very clear plan to get off my lithium safely that my life began to have any meaning at all… so I’m a BIG fan of plans.
SO… I’m not going to knock plans. I’m going to ask God for wisdom. I’m going to make my plans (and I make MANY of them)… but then I’m going to open my hands and lift those plans up to Jesus. I trust that along the way, Wisdom will guide me in reshaping, redefining re-imagining or completely abandoning those plans as Jesus sees fit and I’m ok with that. I have learned how to accept God’s, “No.”
I also believe that “Failure is Powerful.” I did not let the fact that week one did not go the way that I planned stop me. I made adjustments week two which gave rise to changes in week three. Long before my church’s fast, I’d planned to make fasting a lifestyle choice, but I wasn’t sure that I could do it. Now I am positive that I want to move towards doing intermittent fasting as a lifestyle choice. I’m going to reread Dr. Fung’s book and do some additional research. I ordered a copy of the Juice Lady’s book on fasting that I liked so much. Her sections on mental/emotional fasting is inspired.
Originally, I was planning to make this lifestyle shift because of chronic health problems. I still have a ways to go and fasting helped me rest my body a bit closer to factory specs. I also intend to continue changing my eating habits to kick things up a notch. 2017 was all about moving towards a healthier/plant based diet. I’m not totally there yet because I don’t want to become a vegan. I’m not sure what my diet will look like by the end of this year.
In the process, I lost 35lbs last year. The plan is to lose circa 20lbs more. At my heaviest (since coming to Maui in 2005) I was 193lbs. When I’m done, I will have lost 70lbs! That’s the average weight of a 10 year old! Is it any wonder my bones and joints were so unhappy? I was schlepping around carrying the equivalent of 10 year old child around with me every day.
Because God told me that I needed to submit my physical and emotional health to him, 2017 was an AMAZING year. I look better, but more importantly, I feel better. And THAT was the whole point of the fast. To feel better. I wanted it to jump-start my efforts in 2018 to be a better steward of my body. I started decreasing some of the medication I was taking and I no longer feel so over-medicated. The doctor and I don’t see eye-to-eye about weaning me of the thyroid medication, but I’m taking half the dosage that I was taking… and I like it. I’m feeling a low grade dizziness, but it passes. My blood pressure is under control and I’m taking half of that dosage as well.
I still have really gnarly heart palpitations at night and regular/daily chest pains. I still have minor bone and joint pain… my guts are still not totally happy yet…but I think as I continue to be a better steward of my body in 2018, the remaining problems will disappear. I’m not sure how often I will blog once the fast is over. Unless I do some other challenge or something. I kinda like the accountability. Plus, looking back at these posts a year from now is going to be fun, but I hate all the editing. We’ll see. I want to try some new things with my writing in 2018.
These past 17 days I’ve gotten to see God do some AMAZING stuff… but it doesn’t have to stop when the fasting stops. God is not just God when we fast. He’s God when we feast. I think he said that 2018 is to be my “Year of Wonder.” I’m not exactly sure what HIS plans are for me… but I cannot wait to see how this year unfolds!!
Comfort for the Neurotic in ALL of Us: 