The Adventures of Bipolar Girl

Comfort for the Neurotic in All of Us

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Bipolar and Identity

Yesterday I got up early and went to the Y to work out. Evidently, this new me likes doing that on a Saturday. I had a great time, so much so… that after I was done, I went for another walk outside. Evidently, New Me likes that too. Old Me used to be afraid to go outside because there were so many things outside for me to fear.

As I walked, I found a path that looked interesting, so I took it and went on a journey that I hadn’t expected. I got nearly get swept away by fear and hatred and something else… that I couldn’t identify. I didn’t know what it was, but all I could think of was how I wanted to find a bench so I could sit down and cry.

Yet the LORD, who was walking with me, urged me to keep going. As we continued on, He talked to me. I began to see light. I began to see truth. When I made it back to my car, I had to get my journal, so I could record the memory of that moment. This is what I wrote:

Evidently…I Didn’t Learn Everything
I Needed to Know in Kindergarten
(or After the Playground)

Jesus!!!
If I had stopped to sit
near the play-structure…
watching all of the fathers
out playing with their kids
I would’ve given in to the tears
and would have been swept away
by the grief.

It took me a while to realize it
but I was in
mourning.
I’ve always
been in mourning.

They killed my childhood.

My father…
my stepfather…
my brothers and my sisters…
my mother…

My family.
Hating them would be SO easy.

Abba??
You said that when I became a man
I should put childish ways
behind me.

Hating the BECAUSE of times
long gone? Over memories
of a childhood
that never was?

Childish.

But into that “darkening-ness”
You spoke light to me:
I might be an adult…
but I will ALWAYS be your child.
Child-like... not childish
THAT is your gift to me.

And with THAT truth
in mind and in heart
I forgave
those “stealers”
of childhoods…
those liars.
those taunters.
those destroyers
of dreams
and identity.

Because You loved me first.
You love me now.
You will love me
longest and last.

You are my Father
and your children
are my family.

My past does not define me.
I know who I am.
I might be an adult,
but I will always
be your child.

I am Laurel Crowned
and I
am the daughter
of the King.

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1 Corinthians 13 According to Bipolar Girl

Post #737
17th April 2005, 04:10 PM

Today’s message in church was AMAZING. I was wondering if I was on the right path… today confirmed it. Things the pastor said made me think of something that I’d written on April 3rd. I’ve been wondering about love and if I’d ever find it. I was reminded today of something God revealed to me earlier this month about what love actually is so that I will know it when I see it. I share those thoughts today. My thoughts are the hot pink ones.

1 Corinthians 13 According to Bipolar Girl

1Cor 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

I can say whatever I want, even “holy” stuff, but if I don’t love God, I’m just making noise.

1Cor. 13:2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

Even if I have all knowledge and God gives me great faith, and if I “believe” in God, but don’t actually LOVE him; then I’m nothing. At the day of Judgement, Jesus will say the he doesn’t know me, so for all eternity I will BE  nothing.

1Cor.13:3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Even if I sacrifice everything (give up everything I own; do good works; or die for “the cause”) if I don’t love God… then I haven’t gained anything.

I’ve lost.

So what does it look like to actually love God? I’m learning that I have to love God before I can love others.  I’m finally understanding what love of God isn’t. Now… I’m looking at what loving God is:

1Cor13:4 Love is patient.  *God is patient with me.

In order for me to show my love for God, I need to be patient with Him. I can’t try to force my timing. I must wait for His will and on His timing. No more childish tantrums when He says, “Wait.”

Love is kind:

When God tells me “no” or “wait” what is my attitude towards Him? If I love Him, I will be kind to Him no matter how I feel about what He tells me.

It does not envy, it does not boast:

Loving God means I don’t envy how he has blessed or gifted other people. I don’t have to want  what He has given them, but neither do I brag about how He’s blessed me. I’m gifted with a lot of creative talents. I need to understand who he designed me to be and walk confidently in who I am as a child of the living God. No over-the-top pride or false modesty.

1Cor.13:5  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

If I love God, I’ll stop being rude to Him. I won’t ignore Him when He’s talking to me. I won’t interrupt Him mid-sentence, I won’t pitch tantrums when I don’t get my way. I will watch the tone in which I speak to Him. If I love God, my walk will stop being about “what’s in it for me” and become “what’s in it for Him?” I will become God-seeking instead of self-seeking. My life will become God-centered instead of self-centered. I will seek His kingdom instead of my own.

If I love God, I need to stop playing the fool by getting angry at Him when bad things happen to me and He doesn’t stop them. I need to stop reminding Him of every bad thing that He has “allowed” to happen to me over my life time. I need to stop dwelling on the wrongs of others… wrongs that others have done to me… because by holding on to this anger… by dwelling on how God let  me be hurt, I set my own suffering above that of Christ.

1Cor13:6 Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

If I truly love God, I won’t wish ill to those who hurt me. I won’t be happy to repay evil with evil. I will rejoice in whatever truth God reveals in or through the life of that person or people.

1Cor13:7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Loving God means protecting His name with my witness. People will ALWAYS judge the Father by the way His kids act. I used to say that I LOVED God… but hated his kids. I’m not the only one who has ever thought this.

It also means letting Him protect my mind from guilt whenever I feel that I’ve fallen short. Loving God means trusting Him even when everything seems overwhelming and out of control. Loving God means always hoping in Him and not giving way to the doubt that kills. Loving God means persevering because “perseverance must finish it’s work, so that [I] may be mature and complete lacking nothing.” James 1:4

If I truly love God, I won’t ever stop loving Him… no matter what. I won’t threaten to walk away from Him because life gets hard or things don’t go my way. Loving HIM opens me up to be able to love other people…

1Cor13:8 Love never fails…

Bipolar and Personal Training… Under Construction

Yesterday I had my first session with my Personal Trainer…

‘enough said.

Bipolar and Hatred

Last night, I got caught up
in a storm of hatred.
It came rolling in
out of nowhere
and
wave after wave
roll after roll
came crashing in on me.

“What a wretched man am I…”

Fear and Depression used to prowl around
waiting for such a time as this:

“That which I didn’t want to do”
(being overcome by hatred)
I did.
“That which I wanted to do”
(love with the love of Christ)
I did not do.

Fear and Depression would’ve condemned me.
Instead, I said, “What a wretched man am I!
Who would rescue me from the body
of sin and death?!”

Tempest tossed in a blinding
flood of emotion…
falling on my face
though I felt no remorse…
Doing what I knew to be true
in the absence of any warm feelings…

I confessed and repented.

In my anger, I did not sin.
I did not
give Satan a foothold
by trying to deny
what I felt
and thus
allow the sun
to go down of my anger…
knowing that bitter roots
flourish in darkness and isolation.

And into this darkness,
that inky black abyss,
He spoke to me:
“If any man says that he loves God,
but hates his brother
he lies
and the truth is not in him.”

And in an instant, He exchanged
condemnation
with conviction:

I LOVE God
with all my heart,
mind, soul, and strength.
So all those all-consuming thoughts
of hatred?

LIES.

Straight
from
the PIT of
Hell.

And just as quickly
as the storm
had come
sending wave upon wave
of roiling, seething hatred
crashing into my house…

The clouds parted
and I saw the
Son.

Clearly.

By abiding in his teaching
by making my home in his word,
I was able to hear and KNOW
this truth to be true:

Perfect LOVE casts out all fear…
(I was reminded that we tend to hate what we fear)

THAT truth was what
set me free…
THAT truth calmed the storm.

And that was why
the “blue canary” sang today.

But why do I write?
“I write this to make my joy complete.”

I write this KNOWING
that we “overcome him by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony.”

I write this knowing that SOMEWHERE
OUT THERE
Someone else
is caught up in a storm…
and needs to hear truth.

It might be hatred.
It may be fear.
It could be anything
blocking out the light…

My season
of being “sifted like wheat”
is almost over.
Jesus was faithfully
interceding for me…
Now,
I must turn
and, out of the comfort that I received
in the midst of my storm,
I must do as He has commanded:
“Turn and strengthen the brethren..”
Offer “comfort to the neurotic
in all of us.”

It’s bedtime.
And “as the music fades
and the words are put away”
I KNOW that I have worshiped
Him in Spirit and in truth.

I can be still knowing
what I knew last night:
I am safe,
even in the midst
of a storm because
I know
that He is God.

Bipolar and the Aftermath of the Fast…

Ever since the 21 days of prayer and fasting with my church, I’ve been in a period of deep reflection on just how far God has brought me and what I’ve learned about him along the way. I started looking back over things I’d written and came across this gem. It seemed particularly relevant, though I wrote it over a decade ago:

Post: When Dreams and Fear Diverge
Date: January 2, 2006

When Dreams and Fear Diverge

***My  mind is racing. I’m stressing out. I need to slow down. I need to slow my thoughts down. I’m at an impasse. I still dream of meeting that person who will love me and understand me without trying to “fix” me… but because of so many past mistakes, I’m afraid. The last break up has reawakened fear of being alone for the rest of my life… so my thoughts are racing. That’s what happens when dreams and fears walk together holding hands. I get impatient and I want to run ahead of God’s timing because it doesn’t match my own. I rush in trying to make things happen and I end up getting caught in the inevitable blast. When will I learn NOT to rush God’s timing? When will I learn that just because I think something should happen doesn’t mean it’s God’s plan for me???

I need patience. My dreams want to take me in one direction and my fears want to herd me into another.  I need to wait upon the Lord. I need to trust that he knows EXACTLY where I am and exactly what I’m facing. I need to be still. Writing poetry does that for me:

I can only breathe one breath at a time.

I can only think one thought at a time.

My heart can only beat, one beat at a time.

When I walk, I can only move one foot at a time.

When I eat, I can only take one bite at a time.

When will I look at the basics of my life and learn…

that trying to rush through my life accomplishes nothing?

When will I truly understand that as I try to live my life

I can only live one second at a time…

one minute at a time…

one lifetime at a time…?

I see.
I hear.
I believe.

But when will I learn?

Bipolar and the End of the 21 Day Fast

Today was very much a celebration in my church.
The end of our corporate fast yielded a time of reflection.
It was, in a word, beautiful.

The past few days have been SO full…
I haven’t even blogged about my friend’s
wedding yesterday —
and there have been so many more amazing
and overwhelming things…
That I just had to stop trying to write it all down
and be still
and
that was when I was finally able to hear
what the still small voice has been telling me…
has been telling me for some time:

I ALWAYS need to be on the lookout
for evidence of God in my life
because it is only when we seek him,
that he promises to be found by us.
If I go through life looking at all the trials
and problems… focusing on the “foul ups, bleeps,
and blunders” of  all the other people who inhabit
my airspace…

If I walk around all day acting like my problems
are bigger than my Savior…
then life loses all of its color and dimension.

God never meant for us to live in a black and white
world… there are other colors in the crayon box.
Even in the darkest of nights during storms,
there can be brilliant flashes of light.
And it is said that every cloud,
has a silver lining.

IF all you look at are the dark clouds,
you will miss out on hearing the still, small voice
of God or seeing his footprints and fingerprints on your life.

That being said…
I no longer feel the need to write down EVERYTHING
that happens to me every day because some of that…
is God’s gift to me. It’s deeply personal and not meant for
public consumption. Some things that God puts on my
path and asks me to trust him enough to walk through it with him…
and it’s like a love letter to me.
I go through trials and am confronted by fear,
and Jesus shows me JUST how much he loves me
by holding my hand as he walks me through it with me…
not doing a mojo and magically making it all just disappear.

So much of what has happened this past year has been
related to my job… *gasp* Jesus was working at my JOB???
This past year I’ve learned GREAT lessons on forgiveness,
love overcoming fear, submitting to God, and learning to accept
God’s “No” with grace, humility, and maturity…

And because it DID happen at work… I can’t go into details
about MOST of it. I have felt constrained. I have only been
able to share snippets of some of the biggest events of
my spiritual life… and that made it harder for me to share
openly about the on-the-job miracles that Jesus was doing.

I have come A LONG way from my early days of blogging
where I used to blog everything that crossed my mind and
my heart. I had a lot of zeal, but precious little knowledge…
and very little wisdom.

In telling my story, I neglected to realize that other people
are not just bit players in my life put there by God to show
me just how much I have to be thankful for… or to help
move the plot along. My words, while true, have hurt people.
I am sorry. I now know better.

The people that I meet at work, at church, or in life in general
are very real people, with very real stories… and it has only
been by engaging with people enough to actually DO life
with them that God has been able to change my heart
and THUS my life.

I’ve had it on good authority from some wise people
who recently crossed my path, that it’s not important
to remember every single detail of life…
so the burning urgency that I used to feel to record
my days??? It’s gone.

I’m channeling that burning urgency
to a different audience:

Jesus.

Jesus is the ONE person who totally gets me
and I don’t have to worry about confidentiality,
or typos, or language (because Jesus knows
I curse when I’m pissed).

I keep up a running conversation with him all day.
I always have… and with the invention of the bluetooth,
when I’m driving, I no longer worry about looking crazy
talking to myself to people in the other cars.

At the end of the day… HE is the person I most want
to share my story with, so I started taking my hardcover
journal to work so that I could record the good stuff
that I didn’t want to forget before I even left work.
That way, the commute would not dampen my mood,
because it is the emotion that fuels my writing…
and in doing that… I am finding peace for my mind.

I also realized I don’t have to work so hard to try to
distill what happens to me down to find something to
edifying share here… my life, while an open book, doesn’t have
to be a never-ending story. I don’t process life events that fast.
I need time to reflect and process. Sometimes it takes me days
to even know what I feel about events in my life.
Writing it followed by all the editing… (and I hate editing)…
is lots of work at the end of a long work day… SO…

I’m only going to blog when I have something that I really
want to share here and leave the daily play-by-play for
my myriad of personal journals. I’m having an “It is FINISHED”
moment.

I’m not sure WHAT this blog is going to look like…
but, for once, I’m ok with that. I love writing,
but my passion is public speaking. That’s why I overuse
bold and italics...  I need people to hear my story in my voice.
Which only REALLY works if you actually know me
and know what I sound like…
People have been mentioning podcasts to me a lot lately.
Since I have absolutely NO
idea how to do that…
I’ll run the idea past Jesus and see
what He thinks…

Related image

Bipolar and Weddings…

My dear friend and sister got married today. I am exhausted… so no details… I will edit this post tomorrow and record it for posterity. 🙂

 

Image result for under construction

Bipolar, TODAY, and Fasting: Day 18

Today was one of THE most amazing days of my life and I cannot find the words, so I’m not really going to try to explain what happened. I’m going to share some photos that I took at work: some yesterday… some today… and some with a promise of tomorrow…


From where I sit… life is pretty amazing.
God is pretty amazing.

I had to schlog through years of desert and emotional crap to get here…
But from where I sit now, the journey has been worth it. I appreciate my life
SO MUCH MORE
BECAUSE of all the crap
I have had to wade through.
SO, I took this picture at work yesterday
of our gazebo with a hazy rainbow in the background.
It reminds me of God’s peace.


This is a picture from my classroom. Despite what most people think… the rainbow is NOT a blanket statement from God about how he “always keeps his promises.” He does... but that’s not what the rainbow represents. It is a VERY SPECIFIC promise to a VERY SPECIFIC person about a VERY SPECIFIC SITUATION… but that promise touches the entire world and we should be in awe.

When I saw this rainbow (and this happens A LOT where I work)… I thought of that song about Heaven coming down to earth and was reminded of God’s grace and his mercy. Want to know what the rainbow REALLY signifies??? LOOK IT UP: Genesis 9:9-18. It takes on a whole new meaning when you understand it in context.


This is a REALLY tall tree outside my classroom. Normally, I would have photographed the entire tree… but God’s been telling me to “LOOK UP” because it is when I look down at all the challenges and obstacles, I start to forget the bigness of my God. When I looked up today, I saw the coconuts on a tree that is usually stripped. I saw the mountains and the clouds reaching up to the sky. It reminded me of God’s limitlessness and his virtues hidden in plain sight.


But one of the most memorable things today wasn’t something that WAS… it involved something that WASN’T. See the white truck? See the big fallen tree in front of it?? Not really?? I couldn’t see it either, so I went in for a closure look….


This tree that has been standing for YEARS is no more. This HUMONGOUS tree on the property bordering our campus just came CRASHING down with a loud boom!! What was there YESTERDAY is gone TODAY!!! It took out several telephone polls on the way down. Emergency crews were called, but I don’t think anybody was injured.

Can’t quite see it?? I had to lighten the photo up a bit… what about now??


That fallen tree extends from the left and the right of the white truck. See the base and the roots?? That tree is about the length of four cars! The base and the exposed roots system are double the height of the truck!! Gone today. Less than a memory tomorrow...

I’ve been asking God for YEARS to get to the roots of all my bitterness, fears, and depression because I wanted to PULL the roots, but God would always tell me to slow down and wait. He kept telling me to persevere. I just wanted the pain to stop!

Then LAST YEAR, he told me that I was “no longer a slave to fear.” Last year he told me to believe that I could fly. Last year he changed everything about my life…

And TODAY, on one of the best days of my life, God chose to give me a visual that I will never forget. All these years??? I was not alone. Jesus saw my struggles. He saw my pain. He saw my tears.

Nothing is EVER wasted with God. TODAY God took so much of my sad past and used it to  pull down strongholds in the lives of A LOT of people today… It was AMAZING. And it was all very personal… so there will BE no details forthcoming.

Just a final exhortation: Be patient in whatever trial you are currently going through EVEN if it last longer than you think is necessary or fair. God is with you and for you. He sees you and hears you. If he seems to be a bit slow dealing with your stuff… listen to what he told me today. He whispered it to wise old tree that was SO moved, it fell over.

God’s message to me as translated by the tree: When GOD decides to pull the roots… they are well and truly pulled!!! Never to be seen again. All that’s necessary now is the clean up.

Bipolar, Wonder, and Fasting: Day 17

So we’re on Day 17 of the 21 day fast.

Since I’d been researching fasting for the last few months of 2017, this 21 Day fast that my church did seemed to be confirmation from the Lord that I was on the right track. My original plan was to follow the fasting protocols outlined in Dr. Jason Fung’s book on fasting. The first week DID NOT go according to plan, but it gave me insights on how to approach the second week, which ALSO did not go according to plan. Yet again, it informed how I would approach this final week of the fast.

It also highlighted the fact that God’s plan is ALWAYS going to trump MY plan. But before you think I’m one of those people who bash plans of any kind… be aware, I’m not. “Plans fail for lack of counsel.” We are told that “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord determines his course.” I don’t think scripture actually tells us NOT to plan, though there is much about submitting our plans to God.

There is NOTHING wrong with having or making plans if you have sought the Lord’s guidance and if you hold those plans lightly. Spontaneous people who go through life without plans are not inherently more trusting or more spiritual than people who make plans. “Nobody plans to fail. They just fail to plan.” That’s not in the bible… but I wish it was. Not having plans was what kept Bipolar Girl locked in depression. Not having plans was what kept me living in crisis mode. It was only when God gave me a very clear plan to get off my lithium safely that my life began to have any meaning at all… so I’m a BIG fan of plans.

SO… I’m not going to knock plans. I’m going to ask God for wisdom. I’m going to make my plans (and I make MANY of them)… but then I’m going to open my hands and lift those plans up to Jesus. I trust that along the way, Wisdom will guide me in reshaping, redefining re-imagining or completely abandoning those plans as Jesus sees fit and I’m ok with that. I have learned how to accept God’s, “No.”

I also believe that “Failure is Powerful.” I did not let the fact that week one did not go the way that I planned stop me. I made adjustments week two which gave rise to changes in week three. Long before my church’s fast, I’d planned to make fasting a lifestyle choice, but I wasn’t sure that I could do it. Now I am positive that I want to move towards doing intermittent fasting as a lifestyle choice. I’m going to reread Dr. Fung’s book and do some additional research. I ordered a copy of the Juice Lady’s book on fasting that I liked so much. Her sections on mental/emotional fasting is inspired.

Originally, I was planning to make this lifestyle shift because of chronic health problems. I still have a ways to go and fasting helped me rest my body a bit closer to factory specs. I also intend to continue changing my eating habits to kick things up a notch. 2017 was all about moving towards a healthier/plant based diet. I’m not totally there yet because I don’t want to become a vegan. I’m not sure what my diet will look like by the end of this year.

In the process, I lost 35lbs last year. The plan is to lose circa 20lbs more. At my heaviest (since coming to Maui in 2005) I was 193lbs. When I’m done, I will have lost 70lbs! That’s the average weight of a 10 year old! Is it any wonder my bones and joints were so unhappy? I was schlepping around carrying the equivalent of 10 year old child around with me every day.

Because God told me that I needed to submit my physical and emotional health to him, 2017 was an AMAZING year. I look better, but more importantly, I feel better. And THAT was the whole point of the fast. To feel better. I wanted it to jump-start my efforts in 2018 to be a better steward of my body. I started decreasing some of the medication I was taking and I no longer feel so over-medicated. The doctor and I don’t see eye-to-eye about weaning me of the thyroid medication, but I’m taking half the dosage that I was taking… and I like it. I’m feeling a low grade dizziness, but it passes. My blood pressure is under control and I’m taking half of that dosage as well.

I still have really gnarly heart palpitations at night and regular/daily chest pains. I still have minor bone and joint pain… my guts are still not totally happy yet…but I think as I continue to be a better steward of my body in 2018, the remaining problems will disappear. I’m not sure how often I will blog once the fast is over. Unless I do some other challenge or something. I kinda like the accountability. Plus, looking back at these posts a year from now is going to be fun, but I hate all the editing. We’ll see. I want to try some new things with my writing in 2018.

These past 17 days I’ve gotten to see God do some AMAZING stuff… but it doesn’t have to stop when the fasting stops. God is not just God when we fast. He’s God when we feast. I think he said that 2018 is to be my “Year of Wonder.” I’m not exactly sure what HIS plans are for me… but I cannot wait to see how this year unfolds!!

Bipolar, Identity, and Fasting: Day 16

Struggling to know who you are sucks
but since we’re not born with an
Owner’s Manual,

it seems to be a part of life.

When I became a Christian,
that struggle to know who I was
and where I fit into this big scary world
didn’t stop. It actually got more confusing!
God was trying to tell me about me, but
I couldn’t stop listening to who the world
said that I was.

The world is often loud and pushy,
forcing its opinions down my throat
by way of my ears and my eyes.
Jesus?
It’s been said that he is a gentleman.
He will never force ANYTHING on me
or anyone else for that matter.

So while the world was shouting at me
that I was a loser and a failure and stupid
and fat and ugly and crazy and rejected
and unlovable
and unwanted

Jesus was whispering to me in a still small voice,
but my ears were not open to hear.
WELL…
Fasting is not only good for losing a few pounds...
It’s also GREAT for cleaning out earwax
so that you’re able to hear Jesus REALLY clearly
if you stop talking long enough to listen.

This weekend
Jesus told me that I was awesome.
I know
. Seems kinda random.
He looked me in the eyes
and smiled at me and called me Awesome.
Of course, I didn’t want to believe it at first…
but when Jesus talks to you, it would behoove you
to not only listen, but to believe.
I believe.

He said that I was a Princess
which brought to  mind a picture of me
from many many moons ago:

If that ain’t a Princess…
I’d like to know what is??

He spoke to me about my fearlessness
and how I needed to have confidence
in who I am and who I was designed to be,
which brought to mind a picture of me
that a friend painted to illustrate one of my stories….


Yeah, that’s her rendering of me
holding a sword, facing my dragons.
She painted me unafraid… fearless
because I had learned the lesson that Jesus
alone fights my dragons.
She also painted me really thin and beautiful…
and I couldn’t see it. I still don’t.
She’d asked for my favorite
picture of me and painted me from it…
This is the picture she used…


I thought that because I no longer looked like that girl
that the world must be right about me.
But in the last year, Jesus has been breaking down
the strongholds of fear and unbelief. He was calling out
the wonder  in me. The world had stolen my wonder
and I didn’t know where to find it.
It has only been in the last year
when I fully submitted my life to his lordship
that I started to hear him call me out of the darkness
and into the light to stand confidently
as the woman he made me to be.
He began to restore my wonder.

So… who am I in Jesus??
Now that all that earwax has been cleared out,
Jesus also opened my eyes.
He had me write this down back in DECEMBER…
but I didn’t really see it until now. Tonight.

Who am I?
I am
a Teacher
a Voyager
a Seeker
an Historian
a Communicator

an Overcomer
a Watchman
an Intercessor
a Peace-Maker

a Designer
a Visionary
a Worshiper
an Artist

a Dreamer
a Bad-Ass
a Princess
a Dancer

a Daughter

and as embarrassing as it is to say this out loud

He told me that not only am I all of these things
but that I am Awesome...
and
I believe him.

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