17th April 2005, 04:10 PM
Today’s message in church was AMAZING. I was wondering if I was on the right path… today confirmed it. Things the pastor said made me think of something that I’d written on April 3rd. I’ve been wondering about love and if I’d ever find it. I was reminded today of something God revealed to me earlier this month about what love actually is so that I will know it when I see it. I share those thoughts today. My thoughts are the hot pink ones.
1 Corinthians 13 According to Bipolar Girl
1Cor 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
I can say whatever I want, even “holy” stuff, but if I don’t love God, I’m just making noise.
1Cor. 13:2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
Even if I have all knowledge and God gives me great faith, and if I “believe” in God, but don’t actually LOVE him; then I’m nothing. At the day of Judgement, Jesus will say the he doesn’t know me, so for all eternity I will BE nothing.
1Cor.13:3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Even if I sacrifice everything (give up everything I own; do good works; or die for “the cause”) if I don’t love God… then I haven’t gained anything.
So what does it look like to actually love God? I’m learning that I have to love God before I can love others. I’m finally understanding what love of God isn’t. Now… I’m looking at what loving God is:
1Cor13:4 Love is patient. *God is patient with me.
In order for me to show my love for God, I need to be patient with Him. I can’t try to force my timing. I must wait for His will and on His timing. No more childish tantrums when He says, “Wait.”
Love is kind:
When God tells me “no” or “wait” what is my attitude towards Him? If I love Him, I will be kind to Him no matter how I feel about what He tells me.
It does not envy, it does not boast:
Loving God means I don’t envy how he has blessed or gifted other people. I don’t have to want what He has given them, but neither do I brag about how He’s blessed me. I’m gifted with a lot of creative talents. I need to understand who he designed me to be and walk confidently in who I am as a child of the living God. No over-the-top pride or false modesty.
1Cor.13:5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
If I love God, I’ll stop being rude to Him. I won’t ignore Him when He’s talking to me. I won’t interrupt Him mid-sentence, I won’t pitch tantrums when I don’t get my way. I will watch the tone in which I speak to Him. If I love God, my walk will stop being about “what’s in it for me” and become “what’s in it for Him?” I will become God-seeking instead of self-seeking. My life will become God-centered instead of self-centered. I will seek His kingdom instead of my own.
If I love God, I need to stop playing the fool by getting angry at Him when bad things happen to me and He doesn’t stop them. I need to stop reminding Him of every bad thing that He has “allowed” to happen to me over my life time. I need to stop dwelling on the wrongs of others… wrongs that others have done to me… because by holding on to this anger… by dwelling on how God let me be hurt, I set my own suffering above that of Christ.
1Cor13:6 Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
If I truly love God, I won’t wish ill to those who hurt me. I won’t be happy to repay evil with evil. I will rejoice in whatever truth God reveals in or through the life of that person or people.
1Cor13:7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Loving God means protecting His name with my witness. People will ALWAYS judge the Father by the way His kids act. I used to say that I LOVED God… but hated his kids. I’m not the only one who has ever thought this.
It also means letting Him protect my mind from guilt whenever I feel that I’ve fallen short. Loving God means trusting Him even when everything seems overwhelming and out of control. Loving God means always hoping in Him and not giving way to the doubt that kills. Loving God means persevering because “perseverance must finish it’s work, so that [I] may be mature and complete lacking nothing.” James 1:4
If I truly love God, I won’t ever stop loving Him… no matter what. I won’t threaten to walk away from Him because life gets hard or things don’t go my way. Loving HIM opens me up to be able to love other people…
1Cor13:8 Love never fails…